


Until We Meet Again

by keijilosophy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Goodbyes, Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27558622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keijilosophy/pseuds/keijilosophy
Summary: I will be the starlight that glows in your eyes. Until we meet again, in the heavens above.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Kudos: 11





	Until We Meet Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi, this is the final letter that Wonwoo wrote to Mingyu in my wattpad book Stars (now deleted). It would've been nicer to read having written the whole story but it works as oneshot. I hope you enjoy hehe
> 
> Always With Me by Yumi Kimura (from Spirited Away) suits the mood of the oneshot well so I'd recommend reading it with the music.

Dear Mingyu, 

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re seeing the world again, after I had taken it away from you. And I hope that you are living life like you said you would: creating beautiful artworks, displaying it in a gallery for all the world to see your talent. You always told me to follow my dreams, so I hope you’re following yours.

You probably don’t remember me, but I guess you wouldn’t want to if you ever find out everything I had done. What I did was unforgivable but hopefully the result was worth it in the end, and since you are reading this, I’m guessing it was. Nonetheless, I want to tell you a story, one that I never had the courage to tell anyone but writing this to you comforts me in a way, despite what’s about to happen.

There was once a boy who lived on the outskirts of Seoul, a boy with big dreams of his future just like any other child. He wanted to be a photographer so he could capture the small, special fragments in time that couldn’t be stored just in memory. He wanted to capture the singular moments with his family in hopes that they would last a lifetime and never fade away. But the universe was always harsh on him.

His father cheated and left them for another woman without any signs of remorse. During his last year in high school, his mother passed away from the unbearable heartbreak. He swore he would never be like his father; a monster, because no one deserved to feel the pain his mother felt. Love was the reason his father left. Love was the reason the gods took his mother away from him. Love was the reason he was left alone.

Barely into his adulthood, he thought that love was the worst thing that could happen to you. He never understood why the people around him were so invested in the idea of love, that in the end it would only break your soul until there was nothing left to break. The boy changed from an angel who was loving and sensitive, to a demon filled with lust and was absolutely merciless. He played with people’s feelings, cheated, had one night stands, and became the incarnation of what he vowed to never become; a monster. He was just like his father, he was no different. But he never even realised it, too clouded by anger to wake up from the nightmares he continued to live in.

The boy didn’t feel human anymore. He was just an empty carcass walking in broad daylight, searching for a purpose and a meaning, filling the holes in his heart with lust-filled rage.

He thought he found it, love that is, with a boy called Park Jihyun. He was sweet, he was caring and never let the people around him be put down by life’s struggles; the complete opposite to that demon the boy imagined himself to be. He felt a feeling of happiness with him, a feeling of delight and euphoria. He fell in love for the first time.

But it was never enough for him, he was always searching for more.

On that day Jihyun broke up with him, the boy felt regret, despair, and heartbreak. He was always searching for more, a way of escape and for him, that was with Jihyun. He _needed_ him, to escape the hellish life that he had been living the past few years.

That’s what he had convinced himself to think. That’s what he brainwashed himself to do: win Jihyun back so he could feel free. That’s all he thought it would be.

One evening, he met a man a year younger than him under the warm lights of a cosy café. He saw him struggle to flirt with his crush using the topic of water. The demon found it amusing to watch from afar, not being able to believe _this_ was the guy he was meant to use for the plan. Just use him, he thought. Offer him a deal he couldn’t refuse. And he did just that. 

The man was soft-spoken, sensitive and too pure for his own good. He enjoyed the arts, finding happiness in the smallest of things like chocolate chip cookies. The demon found it weird, feeling the need to break him and ruin the innocence that he once had years ago. Teach him how to live life properly, and get Jihyun back. That was the original plan.

Instead, without even realising it, the demon found himself falling, falling down into the deep hole he dug for himself. He woke up amidst the ashes and decaying memories of all the sins he had committed, everything he had done wrong in the past few years and how much it had affected the people around him. It was a sudden epiphany that struck within him after spending a mere few months with the boy who wore the oversized sweaters and cute overalls. The boy with an innocent personality and a heart made of pure gold. The demon felt what it was like to be human, something Jihyun hadn’t done.

It was you who taught me to feel human again. You taught me how to live life properly, how to live a normal life. You made me remember the boy with big dreams. I realised that they weren’t big, they were just realistic. But back then, they seemed impossible to ever achieve in his life. And even though I was never able to live out my dreams, I was able to experience what real love was for the first time. It was such a foreign concept to me, I’m sorry I hadn’t realised it sooner to tell you in person. But through this piece of paper, through the inked words, I hope what I’m trying to say reaches you deep down. 

Never in my life did I expect to be loved back. Not by Jihyun, and not by you. Please tell Jihyun I’m sorry, that I had to leave him like I’m leaving you and the rest. As heart breaking of a decision this was to make, I don’t regret it at all. Because after all, this is the least I could do to repay everything you’ve done to me.

I was the reason you lost your ability to see the world, and by doing this, you can see the world again through me and live the normal life you always wanted. You helped me realise the destruction of my actions and that is something I could never do on my own. You loved me despite all the shit I did to you, all the fights we had because of how stubborn I was, it’s a funny thought.

Even as I write this, I still wonder why you ever fell for me, a horrible excuse of a human being. But thank you, for putting up with me, for being there for me whenever I was in doubt. I still hate how much of a saint you tend to be sometimes. You neglect your own feelings and are always at people’s aid. You always try to see the best in people despite their wrong doings, and that’s a trait so foolish yet so admirable for you to inherit.

The way you talk about philosophical things at the most random times is something I would always love about you. You read Shakespeare’s plays and never fail to make me happy when you try and re-enact a scene.

I remember that night on your balcony, the sky was a sea full of stars with a night plane flying overhead us. You said, “My mother once told me that when someone dies, they become a star so that they’re able to look down and watch over the people they loved dearly.”

At first, I didn’t understand why you said it in the first place. But then you said, “When my father died, I would look through my telescope every night in hopes that I would find him, looking at me too.” You said that with the brightest yet saddest smile on your face, I didn’t know what to say.

Your words stuck to me, and I would somehow think about it every night. Stars are taught to be giant balls of gas, burning light years away, and that’s what I had always thought it to be. But your words seemed so sincere, so full of hope, I didn’t know what to believe anymore.

But I know one thing for certain.

On a night that’s speckled with constellations and stars, look for the brightest one from the rest, the roundest one. That’ll be me. You can find me up there in the sky, burning bright and watching over you. No matter how much regret you may feel over my death, just remember I’ll always be there for you. During the day, you may not see me, but I’m always there, I forever will be.

Maybe you wouldn’t want that, because after all you could hate me; I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Maybe you wished you were never given this letter or was never told about me in the first place. I’m not asking for you to forgive me, if anything, I hope you forget about me. But in some other lifetime, I’ll just be another blemish in your life. A nightmare you’ll forget when the sun rises.

Maybe in our next life, the stars will align better for us. Maybe whoever is there up in the heavens, will look down onto our rotten planet and take pity on us. Maybe the universe will be less harsh on us next time, and we meet in better circumstances. So that then I can be honest with you; I won’t have to hold back.

Maybe in our next life, if God ever granted me one, I will be tied to you with the red string of fate. Maybe then I could tell you those three words myself instead of through inked words.

I have no other wish than for you to be happy, for you to live life to fullest. Find love, get married, and have a family. Forget me so you can move on and free yourself from the chains I had chained you in all this time.

Live your life, Kim Mingyu. Adopt all the puppies you desire. Paint the world in the colours you want to see. Look at the stars and find happiness in them. 

I will be the starlight that glows in your eyes.

Until we meet again, in the heavens above.

—Wonwoo.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <33


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